New Beginnings
by shortie240
Summary: Picks up the day after the last battle until the epilouge.  From Hermione's point of view.  I know the title kinda sucks I might change it suggestions needed!  First fanfic please please read/review!
1. Grief

Grief. How could there be so much of it? After the months they had suffered, and planned, and fought, so that everyone could live a life without darkness and pain. So how, after everything they had been through, was there so much grief? Hermione just couldn't understand. They had won, they had defeated the most evil wizard that the world would ever know and yet there was still so much hurt.

Yes, Voldemort was gone, dead, and there was absolutely no possibility of his return. So why, when Hermione Granger looked around, did everything still seem the same? Families clutching onto one another for fear of losing each other again, long lost friends crying after being united, the stragglers who were wandering around calling for people who would not answer, people that had been shed in the battle, unnoticed to everyone else who was still fighting for their lives. And then, there were the dead. Some were surrounded by their family members who were crying by their side, being held on to as if a touch or a hug would bring them back to life. There were also the other dead bodies littered around the castle grounds. Some had not been noticed or found yet, and others were the bodies of people who didn't have anyone to come looking for them. And suddenly, the little happiness that had exploded in Hermione's heart due to the night's events was gone, as if it had never been there at all. Because she realized that she too was affected.

The person she cared most for in the world was somewhere with his family feeling an unbearable amount of pain as he cried by the lifeless form of his brother Fred. Upon this realization, Hermione slid down against the wall she was leaning on and onto the cold stone floor of the castle. She cried for what seemed like hours, but she didn't really understand why. Yes of course she was devastated that Fred was dead, but she didn't think this was the entire reason. Then, like always, the real reason hit Hermione like a powerful spell…she was scared. Scared that he wouldn't feel the same way she did. Scared that now that they were safe, Ron would think that the kiss they had shared mere hours before was something brought on by fear rather than true emotions. Scared that he didn't share the same feelings she did. And what did she feel? Yes, she had thought of Ron as something more than a best friend since the end of their second year. She knew she had fancied him even when they fought over his pet rat Scabbers in their third year. And as time went on, these feelings only grew and strengthened. With every fight and every little disagreement Hermione came to care more and more for Ron. Even after he had almost destroyed everything and left on their hunt, she couldn't forget him, couldn't let go of what they might have had. And every night, every single night while he was gone, she imagined him coming back. Imagined the kiss she wanted to give him and didn't think she ever would have the courage to give him. And then against all odds, he had come back, she had kissed him. Hermione had never been in love. She didn't know what it felt like or if it even really did exist. No, she did know. She was sure that what she felt for Ronald Weasley was love. Not the brotherly, best friend sort of love that she felt for Harry. She was _in love_ with him. Coming to grips with this fact made all of the difference in the world to Hermione. And she knew that if he felt the same way, that none of this grief, this pain, could ever hurt her. It meant everything to her to know how Ron felt. But she couldn't ask now because she was sure he didn't feel the same. How could he? He was Ron, perfect, sweet, caring, funny, kind Ron. And she was Hermione, who only knew books and the walls of the library in which she constantly hid herself in. And he couldn't love her. And going to him now would only make things worse. And how could she do that to the person she loved? How could she hurt him even more. So she wouldn't. And she would stay away even though it was the hardest thing in the world to do. She would stay away, because she did love him. And she wanted him at least, to be happy.


	2. Realizations

_No, I sadly do not own Harry Potter, that's all J.K. Rowling _

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She couldn't delay her plans anymore. She had to get up and go now because she knew that if it wasn't now then she might never be able to work up the courage to do what she knew was best. With this thought Hermione pushed herself up off of the stone floor of the castle and started walking towards the Great Hall where she knew Harry would be. She had to tell him at least, what her plans were so just in case, if anyone happened to wonder what ever happened to her, someone would know. Before she knew it she had entered the Great Hall, which was crowded with people sitting with their families, enjoying the fact that they could do this again without threat of being torn apart. The hall had a slight hum to it where people were talking to one another, you could hear the occasional person crying, out of both joy, and sadness. To her right, Hermione spotted a mass of fiery red heads all of which she knew to belong to the Weasleys. A few feet from them sat another red head whose face was buried into the shoulder of someone with a mop of unruly, jet black hair. As she got closer, she could tell that the girl with the red hair's shoulders were shaking, she was crying. The boy with the black hair was stroking his hand through her hair, while silent tears glistened down his cheeks. Hermione did not want to interrupt Harry and Ginny's moment but she knew she had to say something, she couldn't just leave. So she sat back down opposite the recently reunited couple and cleared her throat softly.

"Um…Harry?" Hermione said quietly.

Harry looked up, startled to see Hermione sitting there. Apparently he hadn't even realized she had entered the roon.

"Oh hey Hermione, I was wondering where you'd gotten off to," Harry replied, his voice cracking from lack of use. Hermione guessed that it had maybe been hours since he'd talked, and that he'd just been sitting here wordlessly comforting Ginny.

"Yes, well I just wanted to tell you about…" Hermione started, but was cut off when Harry held up a hand.

"Hermione, I know what you're going to say. Save it, you aren't going anywhere," Harry said softly but firmly. Hermione knew that over the years the two began to know how each other thought, but she didn't understand how he could possibly know what her plans had been.

"You do?" Hermione almost whispered. She wasn't really sure why she was speaking so softly but she knew that it had to do with the fact that she was suddenly close to tears again.

"Yes Hermione I do and it's just stupid…" Harry started. Hermione could tell that he was about to go on with one of his noble speeches. She didn't want to push her luck and make him angry but she also wanted to get her point across. He just didn't understand.

"Harry," she started to interrupt.

"No!" Harry yelled while simultaneously standing up in anger. "Do you even have a plan, Hermione? Were you just going to take off while you have no idea where to go or what to do? The last year, we sacrificed everything so that we could just be safe and happy and have everyone together and now you want to go and run away again? Well I won't let you. And I'm not the only one here to stop you…" Hermione could feel the Weasleys looking at her. She could feel Ron's eyes burning a hole in the side of her face where he was staring so hard.

"Believe it or not Hermione," Harry continued to yell, oblivious to the attention he was starting to attract. "People do want you here," his voice had started to soften. "If anyone's not wanted it should be me…" Harry sat back down on the bench and Ginny clutched his arm. Mrs. Weasley walked over to them and patted Harry on the shoulder comfortingly.

"Oh no my dears. Arthur and I have arranged for you two to come back to the burrow with us by portkey in about half an hour. You two will come to live with us at the Burrow until something else can be arranged but, you two are welcome to stay as long as you want," Mrs. Weasley explained.

Mixes of, "Oh no's" and "We don't want to inconvenience you," filled the air for a couple of seconds before Mr. Weasley joined his wife's side and waved the two teenagers down.

"It's no trouble at all. We all _want_ you two there," Mr. Weasley stated. Out of the corner of her eye, Hermione could see all of the Weasley children, now minus Fred, nodding their heads in agreement with their father and mother. Ginny was nodding furiously as she wiped her tear-stained cheeks. Hermione chanced a glance down the table to see Ron still staring at her- a questioning look in his stunningly blue eyes. Hermione opened her mouth to say something, but then, as quickly as it had started, the moment was over and Ron had broken the eye contact and looked down at the table again as if his eyes had been trained to do so.

Hermione decided it was time to look away, she didn't want convey the emotions she was feeling. Suddenly, just because of the five seconds she had connected with Ron, her mouth had become dry, her palms had started to sweat, and if she had to make a guess, she would say that her heart beat was around 200. How did he do this to her so unknowingly? No boy, no person, had ever made her feel this way before. Not Viktor Krum when he had kissed her the night of the Yule Ball, and certainly not the egotistical Cormac McLaggen. So how was it that just by looking at Ron Weasley all of her senses had been blurred?

And then she thought of his family, his parents, what they must be going through. How was it that Hermione and Harry had taken their son away for a year without ever giving any news that they were even still alive and breathing, let alone safe, and these two people could still welcome the two into their home as if they were their own children? She always knew that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had pure hearts but she didn't think she would ever be able to understand just how good of persons they really were. They never failed to be warm and kind, even in the worst of situations. It reminded Hermione of her own parents, who she knew would do the same if given the opportunity. But they wouldn't be given the opportunity, because it was impossible now, and all because of Hermione's actions to save them. She had done the memory charm so that she could protect them while she made things right, but she had never thought what would happen if she had survived. Now what was she supposed to do with her two parents who had no idea who she was? Then, Hermione remembered with a pang that her parents were now somewhere in Australia and didn't even know that Hermione existed, let alone that she was their daughter. And with this thought, the tears started to freely flow from Hermione's eyes as if they had never stopped.

The next twenty or so minutes were a blur or tears to Hermione. It seemed that no time at all had passed before she, Harry, and the Weasleys were making their way outside to catch the portkey back to the Burrow. This was it, she realized. Hermione was leaving Hogwarts behind forever, and with it all of the memories and experiences she had gained in the last six years. If Hogwarts was to reopen and Hermione was to be invited back to the school, she would not accept. She couldn't do it, and have to face all of the things that had happened there, it would just be too much for her. Of course, she had always planned on finishing her education, getting her N.E.W.T.s, but now, now things had changed, as had her plans. Now, was the time to make things right with her parents, and possibly even Ron now that it had been decided that she would be staying with them. It wasn't what Hermione originally had in mind obviously, but she did want to make things right with Ron. She didn't think that she could live without him especially since she was one of the few people who knew how wonderful he really was. And if what made Ron happy was _just_ being friends, than that was what needed to be done. She was determined to have Ron in her life, even if she did have to pretend like she wasn't hopelessly in love with him. It was a sacrifice that she was willing to make. And she knew what she thought was right the second she looked over the mirror-turned-portkey and saw Ron's electric blue eyes glistening with tears. She didn't want to see tears in his eyes ever again, and the sight caused something inside of her to break, and she too started to cry once again. As the portkey glowed blue and she felt a lurch somewhere behind her bellybutton, Hermione thought; _if being friends with Ron means I'll never have to see tears in his eyes again, then friends is what they will be…no matter how much it hurts._

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**A/N: so what did you guys think? i spent all day thinking this up and this is what i came up with. (then it took me an hour to figure out how to upload grrrr)**

**anyways, thank you SO SO SO SOOOO much to the people that favorited this story and put it on story watch ! i got so excited and i am so grateful ! please review it and let me know what you guys wanna read so i can do my best to keep you interested. i do have an idea for the third chapter so i think i'm gonna upload chapter 3 tomorrow.**

**much love and happy reading! =)**


	3. Interesting

_No, I do not own Harry Potter...I wish =/_

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There was a collective sigh as the Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione all landed back on the ground in the front lawn on the Burrow. Hermione knew that everyone was happy to be back after their extended absences but no one made any movements towards the house. Everyone just started looking up at the uneasy structure with a a kind of fear, as if going inside of the house would confirm what had happened the night before. And it would indeed do this, Hermione thought. For even though everyone would be back at the Burrow, there would be one less person to occupy the house. And the realization that Fred was indeed gone and not coming back, hit Hermione harder than anything ever had.

The air around them all grew thick with the unsaid thoughts going through everyone's minds. Hermione knew that they were all thinking the same thing that she was because it was painted across each one of their faces. George was staring blankley at the Burrow, still clearly shocked at what had happened just hours before. Percy had his face screwed up, tears pouring down his face and drenching his shirt as they fell down to his chest. Bill had put an arm around Fleur's waist and had pulled her in tightly and had buried his face in her hair. Mrs. Weasley was holding hands with her husband, both with straight faces and clear sadness in their eyes. Charlie was rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, out of pure nervous habit. Ron stood mere feet away from Hermione looking down at the ground, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. Harry and Ginny had taken off towards the forest in the back of the Weasleys house almost immediately upon their arrival, and Hermione was sure that they would not be returning for a while.

"Well then," started Mrs. Weasely, "we should all go inside and get some rest. Goodness we haven't slept in hours and I must get to work on cleaning the house. We've been gone for so long and Merlin knows there'll be dust everywhere." And with that Mrs. Weasley bustled up to the Burrow, hesitating for a moment before she unlocked the door and entered the house. Mr. Weasley followed her wearily and gave a look back to his children and Hermione that told them to get moving.

Charlie, Bill, Fleur, Percy, and George filed in after their father. Ron stayed rooted on the spot momentarily and then started walking towards the house. When he saw that Hermione hadn't moved he looked back, and opened his mouth partially to speak. Hermione looked at him expectantly, but after a few seconds of silence, Ron seemed to think better of what he was about to do and turned to go inside. A strange mixture of relief and sadness flooded Hermione. Relief that Ron hadn't said anything to her. She still did not know what was on his mind and wanted to keep it that way a little longer, she wasn't sure yet what she would do if she was forced into talking to him. Her sadness was because he still hadn't spoken, and even though she was scared to know what he thought of her, she did want to know.

Hermione took a quick glance at the house and decided it was time to go inside. When she didn't see anyone in the kitchen or the parlor, she reasoned that they all must have been in their respective bedrooms. But she was not yet tired and decided to go and take a warm shower. When she got up to the bathroom she tapped the shower head with her wand and turned the water as hot as it would go. Steam was soon filling the bathroom and Hermione started to peel her sweaty, bloody clothes off of her body. As she stepped into the shower and started to wash herself off she realized just how many cuts and bruises she had accumulated over the past months. But she ignored them, the weren't exactly ugly to her, just a reminded of what they had been through. Each scalding hot drop of water felt like heaven to Hermione. It was washing away everything that had happened, and all that was there was the feeling of the water burning her skin. She knew that when she stepped out of the shower her skin would be a bright red from the heat but she still couldn't bring herself to turn the temperature down.

Finally, after what Hermione only assumed to be at least half an hour, she decided it was time to get out. She put on a short silk robe that she pulled out of the small beaded bag that she was still carrying around with her and started to walk down the stairs to make some tea. As she got closer to the kitchen, Hermione heard muffled sobs. She peered around the wall and saw Mrs. Weasley sitting at the kitchen table, head in her hands crying, while Ron rubbed comforting circles on her back. After a minute or two Mrs. Weasley stood up and pulled Ron into a tight hug. Even though she had said it quietly Hermione could still hear what Mrs. Weasley had said.

"I'm so glad that you're safe Ron. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you. I love you so much," she had said into his shoulder as Ron was now taller than his mother.

"I know mum, and I missed you every day. I love you too," Ron answered softly. Hermione had thought that maybe Ron would have started to cry after hearing what his mother had to say but his voice was strong. With his answer, Mrs. Weasley wiped her tears and kissed him on the cheek, swiftly bustling off to her bedroom afterwards.

Hermione couldn't just stand on the stairs all night and she certainly couldn't avoid Ron forever, so she worked out that the best thing to do was to go into the kitchen, make her tea, and act like she hadn't heard a thing. Ron sat back down at the table and looked up when Hermione entered the room and walked directly over to the stove. Apparently he hadn't heard her coming down the steps. Hermione tapped the kettle with her wand and within seconds it had started singing and blowing out steam. Ron didn't look like he was going anywhere so Hermione sat down a mug in front of him and poured him some tea. She too sat down at the table and looked into her cup, reminding her of dreadful Professor Trelawney's class when they had to learn to read tea leaves. The thought almost made her crack a smile but she immediately sobered up when she realized that a thouroughly depressed Ron was sitting just opposite her. She decided to break the silence and take a sip of her still pipping hot tea.

After minutes of uncomfortable silence Hermione decided to put her mug in the sink and go back upstairs to the room that she shared with Ginny, even if she still wasn't tired or finished with her tea. She got up and walked towards the sink and when she turned around, Ron was standing in front of her, head hung, eyes downcast. Hermione jumped and placed and hand over her chest.

"Oh, sorry 'Mione didn't mean to scare you," Ron said softly.

"It's alright Ron," Hermione replied and for the first time in what seemed like forever she looked him in the eyes. Those startling, electric blue eyes that always held so much love and passion that it made Hermione sink a couple of inches into the floor. Plus it didn't help that he had used the nickname only he ever called her.

She quickly looked away when she realized that she had been staring and she didn't want to make the thoughts racing through her head too obvious. As she turned her head, Ron caught her chin between his forefinger and thumb and turned it back to look at him.

"Hermione, why won't you look at me?" he questioned. The way he said it made her melt a little and now she couldn't help but to look at him.

"I just, want to give you your time, and you know...make you do something or...not make you do something...just I..." but she was cut off by Ron pulling her into a hug.

Their bodies connected perfectly, almost as if they were pieces of a puzzle, the way her head rested on his chest and his head sat on top of hers. Tingles ran through her body like they always did whenever Ron touched her. They stayed in that position for a long time, niether one of them saying a word. Hermione just stood there in his arms, breathing in his scent that smelled something like apples and cinnamon. When he finally broke the hug he put his hands on her shoulders and held her at arms length. He stared deep into her eyes, and she felt like he could see into her heart.

Suddenly, Harry and Ginny walked in throught the door of the Burrow arm in arm. Both with mested up hair and Harry's glasses were a little askew. It was obvious that they had just had a very ferocious snog session. They took one look at the position of Ron and Hermione and walked straight to the stairs, Harry nodding knowingly at Ron who barely returned a glance, his attention still on Hermione. When the pair finally heard the doors of the bedrooms shut, the both let out their pent up breath. Hermione glad that Ron was still holding onto her because if he was to let go, she might just fall straight to the floor.

"Hermione," Ron started. "I need to tell you something." Hermione just stood their nodding like a sodding idiot, she didn't even have the ability to form words anymore thanks to Ron.

"I, I just want to tell you that, well I don't regret what happened in the Room of Requirement. I don't know if you feel the same way but Ijustwantedtoletyouknow," he finished smushing all his words together as if he couldn't get them out quick enough.

Hermione took a huge breath and sat down at the table. Ron nervously ran his hands through his hair and started to pace, finally deciding to lean against the kitchen table refusing to look at Hermione. He groaned and put his hands into his head. "Great just great, first Fred, now you hate me. Fan-freaking-tastic," Ron mumbled. Hermione stared at Ron, a look of incredulity on her face. Hate him? How on earth could she possibly hate him? The was the absolute last feeling she would ever have towards him, the total opposite of what she most obviously felt.

"Ron," she said quietly. "I don't regret it either. Not for one minute did I regret it and if I ever did it was only because I thought that you did," she concluded.

He finally looked at Hermione and an enormous grin exploded onto his face. Hermione actually laughed with happieness, she hadn't seen Ron this alive since...well since the moment she had kissed him.

"No, never not for one single second second. It was, just...I'm so happy that it happened, because I've wanted it too for a long time. Actually since about second year when you were petrified. Hermione, I really, really, _really,_ like you. I have for a long time. And I just didn't want to push anything, I never thought that you could feel something like a fraction of what I felt for you about me, and I've been walking around like a sodding imbusil just trying to think of some way to possibly tell you what you mean to me. I always thought you wanted Harry, and..." but Hermione cut him off. she couldn't stand it. She jumped up from her chair, pressed her finger to his lips, before kissing him full on the mouth. It was a soft kiss but it held immense passion and love. She wanted to convey every feeling she had towards him, slay every fear he had ever felt about her not loving him, in the one kiss. He responded enthusiastically, pressing his body up against hers, and running his hand through her still damp hair. Finally, when niether could breath they broke the kiss.

"Uhh..." Ron seemed to try and form some sort of sentence but could not. Hermione blushed and stepped back a little bit.

"I'm sorry Ron, just I feel the same way and the only reason I wanted to leave before was because I thought that you didn't want the same thing I did," Hermione said.

"And what do you want Hermione?" Ron questioned, moving closer. "Because I know what I want," he continued. When Hermione still couldn't answer him because words weren't coming as easily as they should, he went on. "I want you, 'Mione. More than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life. And if you'll have me, I would love to show you just how much you mean to me. I know that right now I'm not the most fun person, and I am going through a hard time. But if I have you, I know that everything will be OK," he finished softly. It was all Hermione could do not to start sobbing tears of joy and run around yelling, but she controlled herself because she didn't want to scare Ron away after everything. This is what she had always wanted, the daydreams that occupied her mind on lazy days or when the class would be going over material she already knew. But this was better, because Ron Weasley, who wanted _her, _was standing in front of her asking if he could have her, and it was real.

"Oh Merlin Ron you have no _idea_ how long I've been wanting to hear you say that," Hermione whispered.

"So is that a yes? Will you be my girlfriend Hermione?" he questioned with some hesitancy still in his voice.

"Oh course I will you giant prat," she replied ever so sweetly.

A look of shock and pure bliss erupted on his face.

"Y-yes?" he studdered. "Did you just say yes? Don't play with me Hemione I-"

"Yes Ronald," she cut in while looping her fingers into his belt loops. "Yes," she finished as a giant smile flooded her face and she leaned into him. With those words Ron closed the little distance left between him and Hermione and kissed her more passionately than ever. After endless moments of snogging things got a lot more heated between the pair.

Ron walked Hermione backwards until her back came in contact with the kitchen wall. He moved his hands up and down her back and then finally rested them on the wall behind her, supporting himself all the while never breaking contact with her lips. Her hands jumped from his neck to his hair where she tagled her fingers into his fiery red locks. When Ron's tounge brushed her lip ever so slightly, she opened her mouth wider to let him in. She had never done this before and had absolutely no idea what in the world she was doing, but she did what felt right. However with Ron, everything felt right. After even more snogging still, Hermione leaned her head back against the wall and broke the kiss. Both started eachother right in the eyes, panting because they hadn't broken to breathe in quite a while.

"Ron Weasley, what on earth was the about?" Hermione asked after she had caught most of her breath.

"Well," he began his ears turning red, "you made the first move the last two times. I needed to show who's boss," he said smirking. With this remark she jumped at him, wrapping her legs firmly arond his waist and her arms around his neck. They at once resumed their passionate kissing, Hermione loving the feeling of Ron's firm hands on her back and how he had caught her without a thought, like he had known what she was going to do before she did it. They stumbled into the table, and didn't break once at the crash on Ron's tea cup hitting the floor. In Hermione's eagerness, her robe had hiked up exposing her legs even more than before. Ron moved his hand down to her leg brushing the bear skin with his soft hand. Then he hoisted her up by the legs and she wrapped herself tighter still around his body. But this time, Ron's hands didn't leave her legs but he started to stroke them with his thumbs. He groaned into Hermione's mouth at the feel of her smooth legs and he deepened the kiss. She responded happily but shrieked a little as they backed into the stove.

Finally breaking to inspect the damage, Ron put her back on the ground. "We should go outside or something, I don't want to wake up mum and dad with this," he said grinning wildly at her. With one sweaping motion of her wand Hermione cleaned the kitchen and her and Ron rushed outside to continue. The sky was dark and saturated with stars so that they could just see where they were going. Hermione sat down on the steps to the Borrow with Ron in front of her. They both looked up to the sky, and Hermione was sure that Ron was also thinking about Fred. When she saw that his eyes once again held saddness when he looked back down at her, she at once knew what to do. She slowly pulled him towards her and planted a soft kiss on his lips. When she broke away she smiled warmly at him.

"'Mione, I wish you knew how happy you make me. I wish I could tell you," Ron said with a smile.

"Well, I think I have a pretty good idea. I reckon its just about as happy as you make me. But you could try and _show_ me," she finished seductively.

With that, Ron's smile became even broader as he realized exactly what she meant by this. He pulled her back into a kiss, even better than the last ones because with this one, Hermione could feel what he felt for her. It was utterly amazing. And the rest of the night, Hermione thought, was going to be very interesting.

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**A/N: PLEASE READ ! So what do you guys think? Sorry everyone thought that I uploaded yesterday but I didn't and it was ch 2 all over again. -_- ughh so annoying but I'm still working this site out its really confusing. So anyways, I had this whole chapter planned out and it was going to go a lot differently but for some reason when I was trying to type it all out yesterday nothing sounded good and I couldn't seem to get across what I meant. Needless to say I was having some bad writers block. So today, I got home from school and just started typing without any notes at all and this is what happened. I hope you all like it, I'm not quite sure how I feel about it yet. I'm really unsure of my writing and I'm not positive if I like the way Ron and Hermione just sort of jump into the relationship. But let me know what you guys think and if you like it at all, because I might change it. I want Ron to have more of an outpout of feelings and just generally for things to happen differently. Up until their hug is exactly how I wanted it but everything after is blehhh. ANYWAYS enough of me rambling, I have lots of homework to get to and lots of planning for the story. I'm gonna be really busy with school work but ill try and get a chapter down every couple of days and if nothing one on the weekends. Please review and let me know what you think!**

**Much love and thanks for reading and the favorites and author watches and story watches! It means more to me than I can tell you! 3**


	4. Sleepless at the Burrow

_No, I do not own Harry Potter -_-_

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Lumos," Hermione muttered into the darkness once again. That was the seventh time in-Hermione checked the clock, fifteen minutes. How on earth had is only been fifteen minutes? She felt as though it had been at least two or three hours. "Knox," she whispered trying not to wake Ginny. She rolled back over, stuck her wand under her pillow and shut her eyes as tight as she could. Yes she had checked the hour seven times within fifteen minutes but she had been lying in bed for hours, tossing and turning. It was now nearing four in the morning and she and Ron had gone to bed at 12:30 deciding that it was time to get some much needed rest. After all, they hadn't slept in almost 72 hours. So how, after not sleeping for almost three days straight was Hermione still unable to fall to sleep? The answer, she concluded was simple; Ron. It was always Ron, well most of the time.

Over the last year, he had been one of the two main reasons she hadn't slept or had trouble falling asleep. One- was Voldemort, wondering what he was up to, where he was, and if he was any closer to discovering their plan to bring him down. Reason two was always Ron, especially after he had left. During the horrible days when he was not around, Ron often slipped into the number one spot on the list of reasons why Hermione could not sleep. She worried about him, cried over him, and lost sleep over him. Even when Ron was around and was perfectly fine a few feet from her in the tent, she was _still_ losing sleep over him! They had finally, after years of denial had confessed their feelings for one another. Shouldn't that be enough? Now that everything was out in the open and Hermione knew that Ron did indeed share the same feelings for her as she did for him, shouldn't she have no problem falling to sleep as soon as her head touched the pillow? No. Apparently, things were not that simple. After all, hadn't she just spent the most amazing night intertwined with Ron underneath the stars? He proclaiming his deep attraction to her and her returning the feelings. Obviously it was not a dream; she touched her hand to her lips where they still tingled from the feel of his own slightly chapped lips pressed against hers. With this action, the time with Ron came flooded back into Hermione's head.

_Hermione and Ron had sat down on the grass across from each other. Ron had taken Hermione's hands and she felt more relaxed than she could remember being in an extremely long time. After a couple of moments of silence, Ron sighed and stretched out his legs while letting go of Hermione's hand and using his own to support him as he leaned back. Without Ron's hands touching her own Hermione felt as if all of the warmth had flooded her body and loneliness started setting in. She felt as if she didn't know what to do with herself and started to stare down at her hands which were now fiddling in her lap. Ron seemed to sense that something was wrong with her and looked up._

"_You ok Hermione?" he asked sitting up sounding worried._

"_Oh yes I'm fine Ron, just thinking," she replied hurriedly._

"_What else should I expect from Hermione Granger?" Ron answered jokingly. Hermione reached over playfully slapping Ron's arm and telling him to hush._

"_Well while I have your attention, there's something that we should probably talk about," he continued. 'Oh no', Hermione thought. 'He's going to tell me that he didn't mean what he said. He's changed his mind! How could I have been so thick as to think this would last! Just don't cry Hermione! Whatever you do…do not cry!' Apparently, Ron could read Hermione's thoughts because he chose this moment to speak up._

"_Hermione, if you're thinking that I'm telling you I've changed my mind, then stop I haven't. I'm never going to change my mind," he said softly grabbing her hand. She took a deep breath inhaling the scent of Ron. Something she wished was sold in stores or that she could carry around with her all the time. It was intoxicating, dizzying, and had the freshness of mown grass with the smell of apples and cinnamon. She took a moment to breathe it in and calm herself, he hadn't changed his mind. _

"_No, actually I need to apologize to you," he said breaking into her thoughts._

"_Ron, whatever could you have to apologize for?" Hermione questioned._

"_Leaving you. No Hermione don't interrupt I need to say this." Once Hermione shut her mouth he continued. "That night that I left you and Harry was the worst decision I ever made. Granted, I'd been wearing that bloody horcrux hours on end and I was scared to death about Ginny and my family, but I made a promise to you and to Harry and I broke it. I'm never going to forgive myself for that, or for leaving you two alone…I hope you know that," he finished. When he was done talking he looked up into Hermione's eyes with such a look of shame and regret that she knew what he had said was genuine._

"_Ron, when you left, I was honestly more terrified than I have ever been in my entire life," Hermione began._

"_Hermione," Ron started._

"_No you've said your piece and now it's my turn to talk." Ron nodded back to her as if telling her to go on. "I have never been more terrified in my entire life. Not when we went to get the Philosopher's Stone, not when Ginny opened the chamber and it was only a matter of time before I was attacked, not when we were convinced that Sirius was a murderer and was after Harry in third year, or when we went to fight for our lives in the ministry…twice. There was always some part of me that was able to remain calm because you were there with me and that's always me feel safe, we were there together and we were going to make it out together. But then you were just-gone, apparated away with no way to find you or for you to come back. And the second that you were gone every single horrible thing that could happen to you went through my head playing out like some terrible dream that I couldn't wake up from. And every second that you were gone I never ever woke up from that dream. And I just sat there for days crying until I had absolutely no tears left to cry and Harry and I barely exchanged glances let alone words. I didn't want something to happen to you and I would have never been able to tell you how I felt. And I know that it couldn't end that way and that you wouldn't end that way. And then, you came back, and I never lost faith in you because as scared and terrified as I was at the fact that you weren't around, not for one second did I ever think that you wouldn't find your way back to us…to me. You always find a way back Ron," she finished. She looked up into his electric blue eyes that were spilling tears just like her own chocolate brown ones. _

"_I'll always come back for you Hermione. If anything had happened to you or to Harry and I wasn't there," she saw him shudder, "I would have died, thrown myself in front of Voldemort himself. The pain of losing you is too unbearable for me to even think of. So even though you're Hermione Granger, and you don't need protecting," as he said this he reached up and brushed the tears off from under her eye, "I'm always going to protect you. I'm always going to come back for you. Even though I'm never ever leaving you again," he chuckled._

_That sound alone that she hadn't heard in the longest time is what made her crack a smile and look up at him._

"_That's what I like to see. When you smile, it's like, every bad thing that's ever happened in the world is worth it because I can sit here with you and see you smile," Ron said quietly. And before Hermione could do anything he leaned in and kissed her so lightly that it almost hurt. (This only made her smile wider.) He then pulled Hermione over to him as he lay down in the grass and she settled on his chest listening to the steady, reassuring beating of his heart. They were here and survived and they had the rest of their lives to do exactly this if they wanted to. This truthfully, did not sound like such an awful idea to Hermione._

_For the next hour or so, Hermione and Ron did not move from their position in the grass. Not until Ron noticed Hermione's breathing had slowed and that she was having a struggle to keep her eyes open did he suggest that they head up to sleep. _

_They walked up the stairs to Ginny's room Hermione somewhat leaning into Ron due to her tiredness. They stopped right outside of the door to Ginny's room which she was sharing with Hermione. "Well," Hermione started. She didn't exactly know what to say now. Apparently just because you were in a relationship with someone awkward situations like this did not just magically go away. _

"_Goodnight 'Mione," Ron said quietly. _

"_Night R-"she started but was cut off by Ron's lips on hers once more. It was blissful and pure heaven and over much too soon for her taste. Ron pulled out and stared at her for a moment._

"_Night," he said once again as he smirked and started to climb the stairs up to his attic bedroom._

_All Hermione could get out an, "Mmmhmm," as she sank back into the door. After composing herself as much as possible, she turned around and opened the door to the bedroom where she quietly got her pyjamas on and crawled into bed._

Now that she had thought back on it, the answer to why she couldn't sleep was completely obvious. She was excited, when lying on Ron's chest and listening to his heartbeat she was completely relaxed, but when he kissed her all of her energy was gained again and she was having an adrenaline high. The solution she thought; never kiss Ron before bed again. Although, now that they were together, she would have a lot more time to test out this new theory. Oh well, at least she could lie in bed and think the last couple of hours over again, and that was very much worth losing sleep over.

Little did she know, that Ron was also having a very sleepless night.

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**A/N Please Read: I got the idea for the chapter name from the movie Sleepless in Seattle which I was watching today hahaha, I always forget how much I love that movie! Hey everyone sorry that it's taken me sooo incredibly long to update this! I have no excuse besides pure laziness and writers block. I was going through a little bit of a funk and was just not feeling up to writing and its just taken my until now to work my way out of it. However I am proud to say that that funk has produced this chapter which I am very happy with! =) I actually wanted to continue the chapter and make it longer and go on to the next day but I couldnt really think of anything to say so I'm going to start planning that out as the next chapter. It's funny and frustrating that when I type this out it looks so long and then when I upload it it really isn't that long at all. Oh well, if any of you have any suggestions I would greatly appreciate it and would love it if you could email me! With that being said please keep reviewing so I know that someone out there is reading this! I hate to be one of those people but I want a few reviews before I update again. I'm going to try and bang out another chapter this weekend because I am off on holiday. Thank you so much for all of the support it's truly the greatest feeling! Much love!**

**Oh by the way for those of you who were wondering there will be some action in this story and I'm also going to try and find away to incorporate some Harry/Ginny storylines in here without switching viewpoints but that won't be for a couple of chapter and until I figure out exactly how I'm going to do that. Thanks again and don't forget about the suggestions I want you guys to read about what you want so feel free to tell me what you would like to happen next. xoxo**

**OH and one more thing, incase you couldn't tell the italisized writing was a flashback. I hope you all got that i was trying to imply that without actually having to write out FLASHBACK which I really hate!**


	5. Breakfast in Bed

After finally falling asleep around 5:00 in the morning, Hermione awoke to the sunlight shining through Ginny's bedroom window at noon. She looked over to Ginny's bed and found it vacated. She was startled to see the time on the watch on her bedside table, but relaxed a bit when she realized that she had nowhere to go. Nothing to be up for. No more horcruxes to get up and destroy. With this thought, Hermione slumped back into the pillows as a small smile crept up on her face. The hour was not important anymore, and Hermione could sleep in as long as she wanted from now on. The simple leisure of sleeping that most took for granted was something that Hermione now got to experience as never before. She could sleep without a time limit; she could sleep without the constant worry that was always running fresh in her mind.

Her thoughts were broken into by the sound of a knock on the door. "Come in," said Hermione, her voice croaking from sleep. The door opened slowly and Ron whose arms were laden with a breakfast tray slowly made his way inside the room. Hermione sat up in the bed and flattened the covers around her legs. Ron very slowly shut the door behind him using his foot and then crept over to Hermione's cot obviously trying very hard not to spill the contents of the tray. Hermione stifled a laugh with her hand at the sight of Ron handling the tray. After several more moments, Ron finally made it over to the cot and set the tray over Hermione's legs and sat at the end of the cot. The events of the night before sat in front of them forming an invisible barrier between the two, a wall that neither of them was breaking down by not speaking. Ron looked down at his legs and started rubbing his palms on them, a nervous habit he sometimes averted to. Hermione pushed the tray a little down the bed and reached over to put a hand on Ron's which was still nervously rubbing up and down his thigh. At her touch Ron looked up at her and grinned slightly. She took this as a sign to continue.

"Thank you for the breakfast," she started.

"It was no problem. Mum was about to bring it up actually but I caught her on the stairs and asked if I could instead," Ron replied. Hermione smiled and sat back taking a bite of her toast. "I'm glad," she said. After this exchange, there was another lapse in the conversation in which both Ron and Hermione sat, each absorbed in their own thoughts. The silence was not uncomfortable, and went unnoticed. After a moment or two, Hermione came back to her senses and held out a piece of toast to Ron.

"Want some?" she asked kindly. He nodded and took the toast and took a bite greedily. Hermione had always marveled at Ron's ability to be constantly hungry even when he had eaten only minutes before.

"So," Hermione started, or at least tried to. For the first time in a long time, Hermione was faced with the inability to speak. This was strange for Hermione. She was the girl who knew everything there was to know about anything, the girl who always had something to say, whether it be fact or opinion. But now, she was stumped. Therefore she was glad when she heard Ron chuckle and looked up to find him laughing.

"Who knew it would be this hard?" he asked. Hermione had no clue what he was talking about so she just let him continue, giving him a slightly confused look. He picked up on this and continued. "For years I always thought the hard part would be asking you out. Little did I know that it would be easy and the hard part would be what to do afterwards," he finished. He was right, Hermione thought. However, the way he said it made her doubt herself in a way that was very unnerving. "Oh," was all that she could get out.

"Oh Hermione don't worry. I'm sorry I wasn't trying to be a prat and suggest something I'm just saying that I'm nervous and I don't really know what to say. Well actually I do know what I want to say I just don't know how exactly to go about saying it." Now Hermione was more confused than ever. "Ok Ron, well just say it then," she said after swallowing some pumpkin juice. Ron cleared his throat and continued.

"Hermione, I don't think that we should tell my parents about us dating yet." Apparently Ron thought that Hermione was going to scream at him or hurt him because he stopped talking immediately and winced. But Hermione did not interrupt him or hit him; she sat in stunned silence where she was. Ron took this silence to mean that he should continue with an explanation which he did-at full speed. "See it's not that I don't want people to know, believe me I do. I want to rub it in everyone's faces, shout it from the astronomy tower if I could. It's just that with everything going on, I don't want one more thing on mum's mind. And although I know that everyone's been pulling for us two to get together for years, I just don't feel like now would be the best time to make that sort of announcement…you know?" he finished. "Ron," she said softly. "I'm so so so so sorry Hermione. I know you must hate me, I'm the world's biggest prick aren't I?"

"No you aren't. I hadn't really thought about it yet but I think that you're right actually. And even if I didn't I would still understand why you would feel that way. I'm not mad Ron," she finished. At this Ron sighed loudly. "Thank Merlin, I think I've had enough of your cold shoulder treatments for one lifetime," he answered jokingly. "Ronald!" she said in mock anger while throwing a pillow at him. He ducked out from under the pillow and shot her an amazing smile, one that reached his eyes. But what happened next surprised Hermione more than anything that had happened so far, he put the breakfast tray on the ground, leaned over and kissed Hermione softly on the lips. When he finally pulled away Hermione took a second to catch her breath. She still hadn't gotten used to the sensation and was sure that she wouldn't be getting used to it anytime soon.

"Actually Ron, I'm a little relieved," Hermione continued once she got her head on right.

"And why's that Ms. Granger?" Ron asked while simultaneously kissing from her cheek down to her neck with a wicked smirk on his face.

"Well," Hermione started trying her very hardest to keep a steady heartbeat. "Remember back in fourth year when that awful Skeeter woman wrote those nasty things about Harry and I dating and how I had broken his heart?"

All she got in reply from Ron was "Mmhmmm," as he continued to make his way down her neck. She took another deep breath and continued.

"Well your mum was so mad at me for the whole Harry fiasco and it wasn't even real. Can you imagine how she would react if I had to tell her that I'm dating her youngest son? I don't think I'm quite ready to deal with that yet," she finished.

When she was done speaking, Ron looked up and smiled so large she almost thought that his face my crack in two. All of a sudden Ron fell backwards on to cot and started laughing harder than Hermione had heard him laugh in a long long time. At the sound Hermione's heart lifted and she too fell back into the bed laughing. After a couple of minutes Ron sat up and leaned over to Hermione. She too sat up because the look on his face told her that he was about to say something.

"Thank you," was all he said.

"What did I do?" she asked him.

"For making me laugh. And for making me happy, the happiest I've been in a really long time," he finished with a smile. There was no way to respond. Yes of course she could have told him that he made her the happiest girl alive and that she would live the rest of her life trying to make him happy. So could have said a number of things but at the moment she was completely blank and she couldn't think of any words to express what she was feeling inside. Plus even if she had, she didn't want to scare him off. So instead of saying anything she answered Ron with a kiss.

"What was that for?" he asked when she pulled away.

"That was me saying thank you to you," she said smiling at him.

The couple spent the next half hour sitting in bed and talking, as well as finishing Hermione's breakfast at Ron's insistence. (What was the point of wasting perfectly good food was his argument.) Afterwards Ron went back downstairs to leave Hermione time to shower and get dressed alone, (Ron ducked out looking embarrassed, his ears turning a deep shade of red that Hermione hadn't seen in some time.) So twenty minutes later Hermione walked down the stairs and into the kitchen of The Burrow where she was a little surprised to see all of the Weasleys, save Ginny and Harry packed into the small kitchen. Different people were leaning against countertops or sitting around the table. Hermione had the distinct feeling that she had walked in on a very somber conversation that was probably about something related to the family. She slowed down once she got to the doorway, not wanting to interrupt whatever was going on- especially if it was going to ruin her day that had started out so nicely. Mrs. Weasley seemed to notice this and smiled slightly when she saw Hermione standing there. She walked over and took her hand leading her to an empty seat at the kitchen table-the seat opposite Ron. '_Well_,' thought Hermione, '_this should be a good test to see how well Ron and I can keep all of this a secret._' Mrs. Weasley bustled back over to Hermione with a piping hot cup of tea.

"Glad you finally came down Hermione," Mrs. Weasley said as she placed the cup of tea on the table. At this Ron looked up and cracked the tiniest of smiles at Hermione. "We were just talking about the arrangements for tomorrow. The…funeral arrangements," she struggled to finished. Comprehension dawned on Hermione; so this was why everyone looked to miserable.

"Yes," started Mr. Weasley. "It will start tomorrow morning, we'll be burying Fred out on the hill just a bit past the property. It has a lovely view of the quidditch pitch and it's where I first taught Fred to duel so I thought that it might make a nice place for him to be…put to rest," Mr. Weasley concluded.

It sounded nice to Hermione, but she had to admit, she hadn't really thought about any funerals lately. She'd been so absorbed in her own happiness at finally sharing her feelings with Ron that the thought had barely even crossed her mind. Granted it had only been a couple of hours that she had been back at The Burrow, but those hours were some of the best that she could remember. Guilt suddenly flooded her. How had she not remembered? She had spent all of this time with Ron and yet the topic of Fred hadn't been brought up at all.

A gentle kick from under the table awoke Hermione from her thoughts and she realized that it was Ron trying to get her attention. She looked up and saw that the mood in the kitchen hadn't changed, but it had emptied out a bit. George, Percy, and Mrs. Weasley had all left the room. Al that was left was Charlie, Bill, Fleur, and Mr. Weasley, all standing around looking at their feet, no one making a sound. Ron nodded towards the back door leading out to the garden and Hermione understood him to mean that he wanted to take a walk. The two got up and walked outside.

Once they made it a few yards away from The Burrow, Ron took a large breath and simultaneously took Hermione's hand in his. She looked down at their intertwined hands and smiled, this was a simple gesture that she knew would always make her smile. For a while, they didn't say anything. Just walked together past the overgrown garden, the gnomes, apple trees, and finally stopping at the home-made quidditch pitch. Hermione thought that maybe now was the time to bring up Fred and the funeral to Ron, see how he was really coping with all of this. But, Ron beat her to it.

"So…tomorrow's the funeral," he started.

"Yes, it is. How are you feeling? I'm sorry that I haven't asked yet, I should have asked how you were doing or something," she replied.

"Well, I mean obviously I'm not great. But I don't think that it's really hit me yet. I mean, when I saw Fred die Hermione that was horrible. The worst moment of my life by far, but even seeing it happen hasn't made me believe that he's truly gone. I keep expecting him to apparate right next to me and start laughing as if the this was one if his pranks. And…" he didn't continue. Hermione knew Ron well enough to know that if she gave him some time, he would eventually continue his though, and he did.

"And, I'm scared. Scared because I know that it's not a prank, and that he really is gone. Scared that tomorrow I'm going to have to face it all and put on this brave act for everyone else there while I'm putting my big brother into the ground," he said softly while tears started to stream down his face. Seeing Ron cry was not something that Hermione was accustomed to, and caused her to start crying herself. The two were sitting against a tree now, side by side, still holding hands.

"And you know what's the worst part about it all?" he asked after some moments. "It's because I'm about as angry at Fred as I am sad about him being gone. Didn't he know what he was getting himself in to? Didn't he know that mum, dad, me, _George,_ couldn't live without him? Hadn't he even thought maybe he should duck when that piece of ceiling came crashing down on him?" he said answering his own question. "But I _know _what I'm saying is rubbish. He did know what he was doing, he knew the consequences…we all did. Fred was my brother, and he's going to be buried tomorrow, and you know what I've been thinking about?" As he said this he turned to face Hermione and looked deep into her eyes. "I just keep thinking how happy I am that it wasn't you. I'm so, so happy that it wasn't you Hermione," he finished.

And now Hermione couldn't help but start sobbing. And they were both holding each other and crying. Neither knowing how much time had passed since they had been outside, and not really caring. Eventually, Hermione and Ron both stopped crying and they just sat there under the shade of the tree, her laying in his arms, and him stroking her bushy hair. Reveling in the moment when they didn't have anything to worry about and had nowhere to be. They let the unspoken words pass between them and spent the rest of the day under that tree. Each one knowing that at least for now, their silent conversations were enough.

"I'm so happy that it wasn't you Ron," she said.

He looked down at her and she saw something in his eyes. She saw the broken Ron that she had just spent the afternoon with, the Ron who meant more to her than anything else in the world and was in so much pain. But she also saw the boy with dirt on his nose, first year, in that compartment on the Hogwarts Express. When she saw this she knew that it would take a long time for him to heal, but that there would always be that Ron full of as much hope and wonder as the day she had met him.

Hermione took his hand back in hers, giving it a squeeze and the two lay back against the tree. Hermione realized that this was all she needed, to sit here with Ron under this tree. She didn't really need words or big promises, she just needed his hand in hers, wasting the day away under this tree.


	6. Deceptions of Maturity

_Sadly I do not own Harry Potter, however, I am the proud owner of the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One DVD! :D_

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"Wow. Hermione, you're going to drive Ron crazy in that dress. His jaw will literally drop to the floor I know it!" Ginny Weasley exclaimed when she walked into the small, first floor bedroom that Hermione was now sharing.

She inspected Hermione who was standing in front of a full length mirror, her nose scrunched up with a curious look on her face, as if she had smelled something wretched but couldn't exactly place what it was.

"Don't look at yourself that way Hermione, you look gorgeous and you know it. Just for once in your life accept the fact that you are stunning and don't bother trying to fight it," Ginny reasoned.

It wasn't the fact that Hermione thought she was ugly or anything of the sort. She had grown out of her awkward stage a long time ago, but she never really thought of herself as pretty either. Yes, her wild, unruly hair was a bit more tamed, (thanks to a bottle of Sleakeasy's Hair Potion), and yes, she had put on a bit of makeup for today, but in Hermione's eyes, she still wasn't beautiful. Especially not when compared to someone like Ginny, or Fleur, or even Lavender. (As much as it might pain her to say it.) It's not that she couldn't try, sure she could. Anyone could really look good if they put in a bit of effort, but there were more important things in a person than their outward appearance. These thoughts went through Hermione's mind quite frequently. However, the scrunched up look on Hermione Granger's face was not because of the reason Ginny thought it was. Hermione was afraid of looking inappropriate.

Today was the day of Fred's funeral. She had tried to look nice for the day, as she thought that it might be fitting to send him off looking as though she had actually tried to look somewhat decent.

"Anyway, when are you and Ron finally going to get together? Harry and I did see you two downstairs the other night together, did something happen that you want to tell me about?" Ginny questioned with her eyebrows raised as if she already knew something. The question totally caught Hermione off guard. Of course, she had known that the question would be posed but not this soon. And most certainly not on the day that Ginny buried her brother.

It was ironic in a way, something as trivial as her and Ron being together was what was on Ginny's mind today of all days. But as she thought about it, Hermione realized that maybe this wasn't what was actually on Ginny's mind. Maybe the topic of her and Ron was more of a distraction from what they were all about to do. Bury Fred.

She could just ask Ginny how she was doing. Yes it would take some of the attention off of Hermione's love life, but it was also the right thing to do. She had been wracked with guilt about not asking Ron how he was coping; maybe this was her chance to make up for it. She turned around to find Ginny sitting on the bed looking at her expectantly.

"How are you?" was the first thing to come out of Hermione's mouth. Ginny's expression quickly turned from one of playful teasing to one of obvious unease. Not to mention that the twisting of her hands in her lap was a dead giveaway. Hermione recognized it as the same nervous habit that Harry had.

"I'm alright, I mean considering," was all she said. That answer wasn't enough to satisfy Hermione though. She wasn't one to give up, whether it was a measly answer like the one Ginny had just given her, or looking for a potion for Snape all night in the library. She sat down on the bed next to Ginny and put a hand over both of hers.

"Ginny, I can't possibly imagine what you feel like today. I may not have been as close to Fred as I am to Ron or you, but I did love him. Ginny, I am so…" Before Hermione could finish her sentence she felt a gentle squeeze on her hand from Ginny. With that, Hermione knew that she didn't need to finish her sentence, nor did she want to.

Ginny Weasley was not the kind of girl to get emotional. She was not the kind of girl to cry or be weak about anything. She had been toughened up from being the youngest of the family, not to mention the only girl. But there was no doubt that the prospect of burying her brother had cut her to the core. And Hermione knew this for sure when she felt a warm tear spill onto her hands that were still mingled with Ginny's.

She looked up at Ginny for a moment to find the young girl crying. Suddenly, Hermione was brought back to the days where Ginny used to cry over Harry in the common room and ask questions like, "Why doesn't he like me?" The girl from all of those years ago and the girl that Hermione was sitting with right then were no longer the same person. Yes, Ginny would in some ways always be the little girl who cried over Harry Potter, but she had grown into someone who was so much more than that. She had grown into a mature young women right before Hermione's eyes, and sometimes it was still hard to believe, but the proof was sitting in front of her. Sometimes though, maturity could be deceiving, Hermione supposed. Ginny might well be the strongest and one of the most mature people she knew, but even she had her moments in which she fell back into the young girl that she truly was.

Hermione was not one to overstay her welcome and she knew when it was time to leave. That was why she returned the squeeze to Ginny's hand, got up and left the room. But not before looking back to see Ginny smiling softly at her, right before shutting the door.

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**A/N: Ok, so let me take a quick second to explain myself. Yes, I do know that it has been MONTHS since I've updated and if there is actually anyone out there who is reading this story I am truly truly sorry for the dreadful wait. I've been going through a lot of personal issues lately and I really have just not been up to writing at all. Sometimes I would think about starting, (as I already had about 1/3 of this chapter already written,) but I would get into somewhat of a funk and put it off until later. So now I sit here at 1:00 in the morning getting ready to upload after only writing for about 30 minutes. Yeah I know, not too difficult right? Well even so I am sorry about this delay and I really don't play on another big one anytime soon. I'm actually about to start work on the next chapter now as I'm on Spring Break so I have time to spare. Although, this is taking away my attention from writing my research paper for history! OH NO! (As if I wasn't going to put it off until the last minute anyway!) So now onto an explanation for this chapter.**

**Originally, this was going to be a lot longer and go into Fred's funeral, which was supposed to be the main focus for the chapter. But when I sat down to write this I just couldn't get myself to focus on that for right now. I think on Easter Vigil I'll prob write about the funeral because it only seems fitting. (How many of you guys will be in church for the next four days straight as well?) Erghh, not that I mind too much. ANYWHOOO, although this is a very short chapter, I think I'm actually happy with it. I wanted to go into more detail with the whole Ginny/Hermione relationship and have them have a talk about what all is going on and explore more of Ginny's feelings about everything but it's just not how things worked out. In that aspect, I'm not particularly thrilled but this story is far from over and therefor there will be lots more time for that. I really find the whole Ginny/Hermione friendship intriguing because for one, it's not discussed a lot in the series. There are a couple of instances in which the closeness of the girls is shown, (i.e. HBP-my favorite, when Hermione tells Harry that it was her who told Ginny to go after other guys. Oh wait that was OOTP-my least favorite oh well. Still it shows that they talk and bla bla bla) but I don't think that the girls are made out to be such great friends because in a lot of ways they are very different from one another. But as the story goes on I want to delve into their relationship and hopefully get them closer as friends. I think it's important also for Hermione to have other friends in her life besides Ron and Harry.**

**So, yes this is going on forever I know sorry. Just keep reading if you want to know what's going to happen in the next chapter. It will be Fred's funeral. I don't know how into detail I will be going I most likely won't show the characters making remembrance speeches because I don't know if I would necessarily be any good at that and I don't want the chapter turning into utter bullocks. Hopefully it will also be a lot longer. Now I just have some requests of you all:**

**1. If there is anything in particular that you would like to see in the next chapter please let me know asap because as of now I am fresh out of ideas.**

**2. I am in the process of debating whether of not Hermione should go on a mission to find and bring back her parents. I don't know if it's a good idea and I don't know if I could write those characters of the situation so again please IDEAS & OPINIONS!**

**3. I am not one of those people who goes, "I'm not posting another chapter until I get so many reviews" but please, if anyone is reading this, do review or favorite or author watch or SOMETHING so I know whether or not I should continue writing at all.**

**Much love and happy readings! xx**

**p.s. will be hearing from me soon-promise!**


	7. Finding the Laughter

_No, I don not own Harry Potter...but I do have a Pottermore account! :D_

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Hermione put her head against the door after shutting it and took a deep sigh. Today was going to be a very difficult day, and had already proved to be one. If someone as strong as Ginny couldn't hold it together, then Merlin knew how everyone else was going to be acting. Hermione's thoughts turned to Ron for a second. He wasn't one to show emotions other than happiness or anger for the most part, but over the last year she had gotten to see a different side of him. The side that had shown the despair and worry that he sometimes felt. Now that this thought had come to mind, she wanted to know how Ron was going to handle all that was going to happen today.

She quickly walked down the stairs in hopes of finding Ron in the living room-which she did. He was sitting on an ottoman next to the fire place with his head in his hands. There were no signals indicating that he was crying, but already Hermione knew that this was going to be a lot more than he would be able to handle alone.

Ron must have heard her heels clicking down the stairs because he looked up at her while she was paused at the base of the stairs looking at him. He got up and put a smile on his face as he walked towards her. "Hermione, you look so beautiful," was all he said before looking around to see if there was anyone else in the vicinity before placing a tender kiss on her cheek. All she could do was blush. _Wow, he shouldn't be allowed to look this good today, _she thought. She quickly scanned him over, wearing his dress robes; with his hair cut and not raggedy like it had been for the last couple of months. He looked really, really good. But what else should she have expected. Ron always looked good even with raggedy hair and scruff on his cheek.

She quickly grabbed his hand as he pulled her over to sit on a couch with him. For some time they just sat together holding hands, and not speaking. Hermione didn't try and say anything because she knew that words would not be able to comfort Ron today. She also knew that Ron understood that this was her way of comforting him-by just being there. After some moments he turned to her and said, "Stay with me today." It wasn't a question or a request, more of a confirmation of something he knew that she would already be doing. She leaned her head against his shoulder and nodded into him. Ron let out a breath and sank back into the couch with Hermione still leaning on his shoulder. Even though he hadn't asked the question, it was a relief to have her agree to stick by him.

For a while they just sat there together. Hermione shut her eyes for a while, trying to shut out every emotion she knew that she was going to feel as soon as she walked out of the door and towards that dreaded burial site. Then she opened her eyes quickly, realizing that if she couldn't stay strong then she had to at least try and act like she was calm for Ron's and the other Weasleys's sakes. When she opened her eyes she saw Ron looking off to some faraway place that she couldn't quite see. She knew Ron well enough to know that this was his way of preparing himself. He always became distant when he was preparing to do something whether it be for a quidditch match or in this case, burying his older brother. She knew that there was no point in trying to talk to him because it would change nothing. No, today no matter what she said, no matter what she did, he was still going to have to see his brother be put into the cold ground in a box. He was still going to try and put on some brave front for his family. He was still going to act like he was coping and at the end of the day let it all out by kicking things around, or going off to fly and not coming back until some indecent hour of the morning. So for right now, she would let him have this moment to prepare himself for whatever it was that he knew he was going to have to do next.

An hour or so later, Hermione realized that the first people were starting to arrive when she heard popping noises for apparition outside the window. Ron however, stayed where he was, not realizing that the beginnings of a crowd was starting to form in his front yard. Hermione decided to let him know that it was time to do what he most feared by lightly squeezing his hand. Ron looked at her and nodded, the two stood up and walked to the door together.

As soon as they were outside, Hermione drew a quick breath. There must have been hundreds of people in the yard, all moving towards the quidditch pitch where Fred was to be put to rest. There were familiar faces in the crowd such as Angelina, Madam Hooch, Hagrid, and Professor McGonagall, but there were also numerous faces that Hermione had never seen before. For a second, she thought that all of these people could not have know Fred. But then, she thought of all of the lives he must have touched in his time. Classmates, teachers, customers from the store. No, not all of the people attending the funeral might have known Fred personally, but Fred had touched all of their lives both individually by always being the comic relief, and as a whole. He had died to save each and every one of the people in the crowd. The affect that this realization had on Hermione was evident and she felt hot tears splash down her cheek.

She immediately reached up to angrily wipe them away for she wanted to be strong for Ron. But as she was about to do so Ron squeezed her hand tightly and she looked up at him. He smiled at her as tears fell down his face too. It was almost as if he had read her mind and had thought the same thoughts that had been going through her head.

"Hermione," he started softly. "I know you want to be strong today for me. Bloody hell, I wish I could be strong for you, it rips my heart out to see you sad. But today is a sad day. There's going to be crying and tears and not matter how much you try to be strong those things are going to happen. And I…I understand that," he finished.

"Ron, I don't understand," Hermione started.

"I'm just trying to say, Fred may not have been your brother, but it's ok for you to be sad too. All I need from you today is just to be by my side whenever you can," he said looking away to the black flags that were flying on the outer skirts of the quidditch pitch.

"Ok Ron," she replied before clearing her throat lightly. "Let's go then." They walked off towards the pitch together hand in hand, never letting go.

All too soon they were there at the burial site. There were black chairs in rows underneath a black canopy tent. In some strange way it reminded Hermione of Bill and Fleur's wedding but much darker. And there were many more people in attendance to the funeral than to the wedding.

Hermione had only been to one other funeral in her life and it was a lot different from Fred's. It was her great aunt's funeral when she was 10. Before she even knew that she was a witch. There were a lot less people, and the burial took place in a small and dark graveyard behind an old church in the town. Suddenly, Ron's voice cleared her out of her reverie. She looked over to see what he was doing and saw that he was talking to a pale Harry who was holding an even paler looking Ginny. Both had a sort of far off look in their eyes that Hermione didn't quite yet understand. It was funny how much Ginny and Harry were alike when she thought about it.

They both were constantly putting themselves last. They were always trying to be valiant, brave, and protect everyone. Both hardly ever showed emotion other than anger. Tears were a rare occurrence between the two, and on the rare occasion that one of them cried, it was mostly done in privacy. Maybe that's why they were such a good match for each other, they were the only people who completely understood whatever the other did.

Hermione looked off to the tent where people were starting to find their seats. She noticed that there weren't many seats underneath the canopy and saw that most of the people she didn't recognise were shuffling around outside of it. She realized that the Weasleys had probably assumed that it would be a small gathering since there were so many funerals happening all over the wizarding world as of late. So people that were closest to Fred started taking their seats under the canopy. Hermione checked her watch and saw that it was time for all of them to go and find their seats as well. As everyone seemed to be moving towards the tent at the same time, she felt as if she was in some sort of trance. It was the same feeling that she used to get when she would use her Time Turner to go to classes. As if everyone around was going and she was standing still waiting for time to start again, waiting to be rushing into something else, waiting to be exhausted and fall asleep in the common room, waiting to feel distant from the people around her, just waiting. But this time, she was waiting to do the thing that she knew would change the lives of this family forever.

In ways, wizard funerals were not too different from the muggle kind. People made speeches about the deceased, people cried, they wore all black, a minister presided over the service, and people wished that they could bring back the dead. And that was the one thing that was strikingly similar between wizards and muggles; neither could bring back the dead. So time went on, and everything was quiet except for the occasional cry or sound of someone blowing into their tissue. The service was almost over after Arthur had made an extremely moving eulogy about the pride that he had for his son in every aspect of his life, and certainly in his death. After he was finished, the minister asked if there was anyone else who had something to say. For a moment it seemed as if no one was going to say anything, but suddenly as if on impulse, Harry stood up and walked to the front of the canopy. Hermione was shocked and she noticed the rest of the family was as well. Ron gave her hand an unconscious squeeze and Hermione saw that every fibre of his attention was on what Harry was about to say.

"I wasn't planning on making any sort of speech today. I sort of just decided to come up and say some things on impulse. That was one thing that I learned from Fred-how to act on impulse." There was a nervous chuckle from the crowd, as if they were afraid to laugh, and a loud blow from Hagrid into his handkerchief. "But I was listening to all of the wonderful things you all were saying up here, and I noticed that there was one thing that no one would say. Fred is dead. Yes everyone acknowledged the obvious fact that he's gone, no longer here to laugh and tell jokes with. But I know a lot about death. I have no family. My mum is dead, my dad is dead, my godfather-dead, my mentor-dead, Albus Dumbledore; the man who guided and protected me through almost all of my life is dead. Even the man, who I thought I couldn't possibly hate anymore, ended up being someone who means something to me, died before I even understood how brave and kind and loving he was." Ron's grip on Hermione's hand was getting tighter. She could tell that he was nervous about all of the things Harry was saying, but she trusted Harry to turn this speech around. "So yeah, a lot of people that I have loved are gone. If you know anything about me, as many of my close friends do, it's that I never wanted anyone to die for me. The people I love, that died at the hands of Voldemort were sacrificed because of me. This is something that I have struggled with since I found a girl lying in the Chamber of Secrets during my second year at Hogwarts. I've never understood it. Why have I survived so many times when people who deserve to live and being killed in my place? It wasn't-it isn't fair to me. I've tried to run away, do things on my own, shun my only friends because I don't want anyone else to take the fall. But that is not the way that things turn out. People don't listen and they get in the way, and sometimes, they get hurt. This used to be the worst part for me because I didn't want my friends, and others to understand what it felt like to lose someone that you love. I would lash out at them because they couldn't understand what it felt like to feel the pain of loss. But now, so many more people than I ever thought, understand that pain. In fact, many of you that stand here right now know exactly the sort of pain I mean. Feeling like you can't breathe because you know you will never see that person, or hear their laugh, or get to tell them that one thing that you always wanted to but never found the courage to. And right now, the Weasleys feel this pain. This was the one thing I was always scared of; that the people that I counted as my family would someday know exactly how I feel. But as this fear came to life, it opened my eyes. See I always thought that people should stay away from me and let me do the fighting on my own. Even though I've had two best friends that haven't for a second allowed me to do just that in the whole time that I've known them. Somehow, even as I pushed people away, even more joined me in the fight against Voldemort. They weren't fighting for me, they were fighting for a world without VOldemort _with me._ I knew how it would end, we all did to an extent. I knew that there would be war and that people would want to fight, and I couldn't prevent everyone from joining in, though Merlin knows I tried. So the night…that night, I watched people pour in to the grounds at Hogwarts. Some I had never seen before, and others I knew. I saw Fred, even talked to him for a bit. I saw a lot of people that night that I would never see alive again. And I know that if I had tried to send everyone back home to safety, Fred would have been the one cracking a joke about how noble I am or something before he rushed into the battle. Fred didn't often think of the consequences because he wasn't scared of them. Not when he joined the D.A., not when he and George opened a joke shop in the midst of so much fear, not when he rushed into that battle. He knew the consequences, but he didn't think of them because he didn't care. It wasn't the consequences that mattered to Fred, but the actions he took that would prompt them. Of course Fred knew that there was a chance he wouldn't make it, we all did. But all of you came and fought with all that you had anyway. Fred died laughing, doing the thing that he loved most in the world. He died fighting and he could laugh because he knew that in the midst of pain, joy and laughter can be found. So right now, in the midst of all this pain I think…I _know_ that Fred wants us to find the laughter. When I thought things could never be worse he always found a way to make me crack a smile or chuckle. I'm sure you all have a similar memory with him, so think of that. When you go home and have to face another funeral or rebuilding of something, find the joy and laughter that keeps us going. We're all hurting right now but there is light ahead. We will go on from this moment. And even though Fred might not be sitting here with us right now, he's still here. Once my godfather gave me some comforting words that I want to share with all of you. He said to me, "The ones we love never really leave us. And you can always find them, in your heart." I know that this is true, and in time, that pain will die a little and the laughter will come easier. And I know that's what Fred would have wanted."

There was complete stillness and silence as Harry stepped down from the little platform in the front of the tent and started walking back to his seat. He barely got five steps before George tackled him with a massive hug. He was crying, but not the pained angry tears that he'd been crying for days. They were sort of happy, relieved tears.

"Thank you," he whispered in Harry's ear.

"It's nothing," Harry replied while patting his back.

"You don't need to always be so noble Potter," he joked, before cracking a small smile and returning to his seat to hold his mother's hand.

When Harry sat down Ginny kissed him on the cheek and Hermione gave him a smile as she wiped the tears away. Harry looked past Hermione to Ron who looked as if he was still processing everything that had just happened. The minister returned to the front of the tent and whisked his wand as the coffin floated to the hole where Fred was to be buried. As the coffin lowered into the ground, without looking at him Ron said to Harry, "Thank you." It wasn't much but Harry knew that he meant. _Thank you for saying what I couldn't. Thank you for giving us hope. Thank you for being strong for everyone. Thank you for being my brother._

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__**A/N: wow ok, you all must really hate me...that is if there are any of you left to read this in the first place. i know, i don't even remember the last time i updated. wait yes i do, it was last easter so a YEAR ago. that is just pathetic. i could sit here and tell you all my excuses about how busy i am with school and every day life and family and bla bla bla but i won't bore you. all i can say is i am truthfully VERY sorry. i actually started this chapter like a year ago and rewrote it about 10 times. i had absolutely no idea how i wanted it. first no one came to the funeral then everyone came and it was like a party, but then i decided that this seemed appropriate. i know the last half of this chapter is pretty much about harry but seeing as he understands more than most what it feels like to lose someone, i thought it seemed fitting that he made a speech. plus you know how he just loves to make those noble speeches. well i don't want to go on forever but i promise to continue this story and update as soon as possible. yes i know that i said that before and it didn't exactly hold true but i feel as if i'm finally back in the swing of things and at least for the next chapter or so i know what i want to write. so thanks and if anyone is reading this, it would just make me the happiest girl alive if you would review, especially with suggestions as to what you want to happen for the characters. cheers & speak to you soon!**


	8. Knowledge

_Nope, I still don't own Harry!_

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The rest of the day was relatively quiet. After the burial, the crowd dispersed, leaving their well wishes with the family. The Weasleys went back inside while Hermione and Harry followed at a distance.

"Harry, I was really moved by your speech," Hermione said.

"Thanks Hermione," he replied with a slight grin. "I know it's what I probably needed to hear when I was dealing with similar issues. I just don't want to Weasleys to have to go through what I did. They're just too good of people." Hermione knew what he meant and nodded. It just didn't seem fair that something so tragic could happen to a group of undeserving people. Before they got to continue their conversation however, Ginny came back for Harry and grabbed his arm before bringing him into the house. He nodded apologetically to Hermione letting her know that they would talk later. She missed Harry even though they had been with only each other and Ron's company for months on end. But it was a feeling that she had gotten used to; always having him by her side. It was a bit unnerving sometimes when she didn't know where he was or what he was doing. Almost as if they were back in that tent far from the rest of the world in some random forest. But they weren't in the tent anymore, they were with the Weasleys at the Burrow, and they were safe. And right now Ginny needed Harry more than she did. So she bucked up and gave him a quick smile before telling him to go on, that they would talk later.

When she got back into the Burrow, she started to help put the leftover food from the reception away and clean the kitchen. She wasn't really sure what she should be doing here. When they were on the run, she was the one that would clean up around the tent and take care of the food. Now, there wasn't much for her to do, and while it was nice for a change, she felt a bit restless. Nothing to study for, or plan for, or pack for, or worry about. It was a feeling that she hadn't experienced since, well since before Hogwarts. Usually if she tried to do any work around the Burrow, Mrs. Weasley would shoo her and tell her to go and have fun with the boys. But Molly hadn't even bothered to clean anything. She took one glance at the kitchen and went straight to her room with Arthur following close behind. Everyone else had gone to their respective rooms as well, besides Bill and Fleur who had returned to Shell Cottage. So when she was done cleaning and putting everything away, Hermione walked up to Ginny's room to get her beaded bag which still had all of her clothes in it. She excused herself to Harry and Ginny who were lying on the floor together, just quietly staring at the ceiling. At first she thought it was a strange position to be in but she realized that they just needed to be close, and that Mrs. Weasley would most likely have a coronary if she saw them lying like that together in bed. The floor did seem like a much safer place. She crept to the cot where she kept her beaded bag under the pillow and left the room as quietly as possible.

After going to the bathroom to change into some more comfortable clothes and wash the makeup off her face, Hermione stared into the mirror above the sink. She hadn't looked in a mirror in a long time. The one in the tent had had a huge crack going right through the middle so she had eventually decided that there wasn't much use bothering with it anymore. Of course, being a witch she could have fixed it with magic, but for some reason she had never wanted to. She had never particularly liked mirrors, and being on the run had only increased her dislike for them. She knew that she couldn't look to great with all of her layers of clothing and mussed hair. But there was something else lurking in the back of her mind that she didn't much want to admit. She was on the run. And not just to help Harry, but because she had to for her own safety. She was a mudblood, no matter how much she could deny it or try and give it other names. At the end of the day that is what she was and there was no changing it. It wasn't something that she was ever ashamed of. In fact she was proud. She hadn't grown up with wizard parents who could teach her things, and yet she was still one of the brightest witches her age. But being on the run had changed things. People like her were being captured and imprisoned, and somehow knowing that if she were to walk into the middle of Diagon Alley at any moment, that she would be arrested because of the impurity of her blood, that made her feel ugly. Not physically, she knew that being from a whole line of wizards would not change the way that she looked. It was that people she didn't even know could hate her because of something she could never change. But the worst part of all, was the feeling that she would never be clean again. After Bellatrix had relentlessly, mercilessly tortured her for information that night. That was something that she would never get rid of. That made her feel ugly.

She knew that if Ron ever knew about those thoughts that he would go mental. If he knew how many times she would lock herself in the bathroom in the tent and seal it off with a silencing charm just so she could cry, he would lose it. She knew that Ron never wanted her to listen to what other people said about her blood status, that she was brilliant and beautiful and strong and that those things shouldn't, and didn't matter. But when the whole world hates you and every one like you, sometimes there is no escaping that feeling of self loathing.

Now that the war was over, she felt a bit better. The half-bloods were being freed from Azkaban. She knew that she could go anywhere being who and what she was and wouldn't face any consequences. But she also knew that she would be dealing with this problem for a long time, that there was no quick fix or potion that she could take to feel better. So she took a deep breath and looked in the mirror. Of course nothing had changed. Her hair was a little longer and there were some cuts and bruises on her face and neck, but she didn't look all together terrible. She could live with the cuts and bruises; it was the things that people couldn't see that haunted her. But now was not the time to think about that. So she pushed it away again until it was in the recesses of her mind. There were more important things to focus on. So she threw her hair up in a sloppy bun on top of her head and pulled a jumper on. She left the bathroom and went downstairs. She stood at the bottom of the steps and looked around; no one was down here of course. So she decided to go outside. It was getting dark but she still had some time and a wand. Plus she knew the Burrow well enough to know how to get back.

For a while she walked around just looking at things. Admiring the beauty of the little flowers popping out of the ground and the wind making the leaves rustle. When she really stopped to think about it, her problems often seemed so trivial when compared to the world around them. They were all such a tiny part of a much greater picture. After a while, she got tired of walking and decided to sit down. By some odd coincidence, she happened to sit right in front of the grave where Fred was just buried only hours ago. She hadn't planned on this, maybe subconsciously her mind had led her here. For a while she just sat looking at the dirt that had been piled up to cover his coffin. She didn't know what to say, or if she should say anything at all. After all, who was there to hear her? But she began to feel uncomfortable, and when Hermione felt uncomfortable, she often started talking.

"Hello Fred," she tentatively began. "This is a bit odd. I bet you're up there laughing right now at how uncomfortable I look. You always did like making fun of me. Especially when it came to Ron. I mean you and George were just relentless. I think you both knew before either one of us did that we would end up together. Well go and collect your galleons because you were right, we're together. And I'm absolutely sure that you were taking bets on how long it would take. Is it strange that I came to your grave to talk about your brother? I hope it isn't and I don't mean to be disrespectful. I do miss you. No matter how much I may have disapproved of some of your choices or tried to be the high and mighty prefect in school, you could make me laugh. I wouldn't always let you see, but you did. I know how important laughter was, _is_ to you. So even though I'm not technically a member of your family, I'm going to make every effort I can to make sure that the family doesn't just crumble. I know that's not what you would want. Being that I am such a know-it-all as you liked to call me, I know what you would want. You would want for Bill and Fleur to have lots of little half-French babies and Charlie to tame tons of dragons so that he can tell girls the stories of how he got his burns. You would want your parents to go on and be happy and be the strong people that they are. And for Ron to become and Auror and be successful and do what makes him happy. And as for me, he already has that and I'm not going anywhere so no need to worry. I _know_ that you want George to get on his feet and open up the joke shop and make people laugh and maybe meet someone and be happy. I think that you would tell Harry to stop being so noble all of the time and to take care of your little sister, and for Ginny to become a Quidditch star in the big leagues. You would probably tell me to loosen up a bit and start enjoying life and laughing more. As for Percy, it's him that I'm really worried about. I know you all weren't talking for so long and I think that that hurt you more than you let on. He was your big brother and no matter how much you all teased him, you loved him. But I can tell that he feels so much guilt and although if you were here you would probably tease him about it, I know you don't want him to spend his life blaming himself for your death. So I'm going to do whatever I can to help him, because no one should have to feel that way. " For a while Hermione stopped speaking. It was almost dark out now and the wind was blowing but it was completely silent. But she felt as it Fred could hear her. "Well anyway, I just want you to know that we miss you and it's going to take some time but I am going to try my best to help everyone heal from this. And it's going to be really hard. You are a very hard person to forget about Fred Weasley. But we love you, and we know that's what you want; for us to move on from this. So that is what we're going to do." She felt as if there was nothing more that she could say without crying. On instinct she thought to conjure up some flowers to put on the plot, but she thought that was a bit cheesy for Fred. Instead she got her wand from her pocket and conjured up a pamphlet from Weasleys Wizard Wheezes. It only seemed fitting.

Eventually she found the strength to get up, (she was suddenly exhausted) and head back towards the Burrow. When she finally made it back to the old lopsided house, she saw a boy with unmistakably red hair sitting on the back steps. After a moment and a deep breath, she found the strength to go up to him and sit next to him on the stairs.

"You said you wouldn't leave me," he mumbled after a moment of silence.

"Oh Ron," she sighed. "I'm sorry. But when I can inside…afterwards, I thought that you wanted some time alone." He didn't answer. She didn't know what to say. For some reason the thought of going to find Ron just hadn't crossed her mind. She just thought that he would want space. And what could she possibly have to say? That she knew how he felt? Because she didn't. Suddenly, she felt Ron grab her hand. It wasn't like at the funeral where it felt as if he was holding on to her for dear life, but it was lose and casual. Just a reminder that he was still there.

"It's ok. At first I was kind of mad, but I think that I'm more mad at this day than you. Plus I saw that the kitchen was clean when I went to get some food, and I'm sure that my mom didn't do it so thanks. I know that will mean a lot to her." Hermione smiled to herself. She was glad that they weren't fighting and that he wasn't mad. She knew that she probably should have checked on him, but she didn't.

"I saw you walking out here," he continued. I figured you went to see Fred and I was right. I know you two weren't exactly close friends, but I know that you loved him, and he loved you, and it means a lot to me that you went to talk to him." Hermione could feel the tears coming but she didn't want to cry, so she answered by lightly squeezing his hand. They sat like that for a while the sky got darker.

"What did you think of what Harry said today?" she finally asked. He didn't answer right away, he seemed to think of an answer. She could see that he wanted to say the right thing, because it wasn't often that Ron thought before speaking.

"I thought…I thought that he was right. It wasn't really what I wanted to hear, but who _does_ want to hear that their older brother is dead? Harry knows a lot about death. More than most people three times his age would understand. For a long time, I tried to understand some of the things that Harry said and did, to try and push people away, even us. After a while I gave up, realizing that there would just be some things that I didn't get and that he wouldn't be able to explain to me. But I think now I understand. And he's right. I always thought he was just morbid, but he's actually right. Fred is dead and we have to realize that. He's not _gone, _but he is dead. And although we have to take the time to heal, we can't let it destroy the rest of our lives, because that's not what Fred would have wanted. Because then death wins, _Voldemort wins. _That's not what we fought this long for. Fred would have tried to get us laughing and looking at the bright side of things. And I think if his twin hadn't just died, George would be doing that job right now. It's going to take some time but we can do it, this whole family wasn't sorted into Gryffindor for nothing."

As they sat there, Hermione thought that she couldn't have put it better herself. She and Ron didn't always agree on things, but she was confident that he was right. It was going to take some time, but everyone was going to be alright. For now, at least they knew that.

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**A/N: yeahhhhh baby two chapters in two days! i just wanted to say thank you sooo much to all of the people who put me on story alert and favourited and reviewed! i actually don't know how to reply to reviews but when i do figure it out be sure that you will get a thank you from me! it means so much that some of you are still reading especially after my inexcusably long hiatus. i actually wasn't planning on finishing this chapter today or really even starting it, but when i saw your reviews and alerts i just had to! i'm actually quite proud of this chapter i think it turned out pretty well after only a few hours on the spot. i think i could have gone into a bit more detail on some things but its not awful. please tell me what you think of this chapter! so i will be starting the next chapter pretty soon, maybe even tonight if it's not too late after i get back from visiting my mama in the hospital. so when you review, please let me know what you would like to happen! i wrote something in the first or second chapter of this story and i think that i'm going to contradict what it says. it may not be for a couple of more chapters i haven't completely decided if i even want to do it yet but if you've been following this story, as soon as i write it you should know what i am referring to. but i don't want to give anything away! so look out for another chapter within the next couple of days! much love and happy reading, cheers!**


	9. Missing You

_As far as I know, J.K. Rowling still owns Harry Potter._

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It was a couple of weeks before things started to seem back to normal around the Burrow. Well, whatever normal really was. At first everyone wanted to spend time on their own. After most meals the members of the family would go back to their own rooms and stay there for the rest of the day until it was time to come back down to eat again. George had not gone back to his flat over the shop yet, and Percy and Mr. Weasley had not gone back to work. Although there was probably a list of things a mile high for them each to do, no one wanted to leave the comfort of home, even though there was hardly any time being spent together or conversations to be had. During these weeks Hermione read mostly. Actually she read a lot. Ron didn't mind, he said back at Hogwarts that was one of his favourite things to do; watch her read. "It was the only time I got to really look at you without worrying about you catching me," he explained to her one day. She blushed and turned back to the familiar pages of some old worn book she had read a hundred times.

Sometimes she would read out loud to Ron. He liked that a lot too. Although he admitted he often didn't understand the content of the books, but just liked hearing her talk. She usually read to him at night while he would fall asleep. She would sit at the end of the bed by his feet and read until he drifted off, and she would go back to Ginny's room to go to sleep herself. When she wasn't reading to Ron in his room, (which is where they spent most of their time,) she would read to herself while he would skim through old quidditch magazines about the Chudley Cannons. Other times, she would go outside to watch him, Harry, and occasionally Ginny fly around on their brooms. These flying sessions only lasted for an hour or so, seeing as Ginny and Harry seemed to want to spend all of their time together. And if Hermione was being completely honest with herself, she wanted to spend as much time as she could with Ron.

She didn't want to be the clingy girlfriend, that was Lavender's department. She just missed him. She missed him when he went to go take a shower, or she helped his mother with the dishes after dinner. Sometimes she missed him when he was sitting right next to her with their shoulders touching on his tiny bed. She thought that it had something to do with the stretch of time that he was gone while they were on their hunt. But then she thought back to their days at Hogwarts and realised that she had been harboring these feelings for years. Whenever her and Ron would have a row and not speak, she would go mental. She didn't want to be the one to apologize, and yet she felt as if she would explode if she had to go one more minute without him. It was especially rough during the summer holidays. Back during the time in which she was in denial about her feelings for him, she would blame it on the fact that she had no friends where she lived. This was of course true, after going off to Hogwarts at such a young age. Living in the muggle world she felt sort of different, disconnected. She knew Harry felt the same way, but a part of this feeling was due to the fact that Ron was so far away. Letters could only help so much and it seemed as if with each passing year, she was begging her parents to leave earlier and earlier to go and stay at the Burrow.

One night, while sitting by the window in Ron's room, she started to think about all of these things. She knew she had been dealing with these sorts of feelings the majority of the past seven years, but when she stopped to think on it, it was really scary.

"Hey, what's going on in that head of yours?" Ron asked her, shaking her out of her reverie.

"What?" Hermione replied, startled.

"Well you're just sitting there starting at that book and you haven't turned the page in about ten minutes," he chuckled. "Is something wrong?"

"No nothing…nothing's wrong," she answered slowly.

"Hermione, you can tell me anything you know that right?"

"Of course Ronald! What are you talking about?"

"Well something must be wrong. The Hermione Granger I know doesn't just stop reading for nothing. Do you want to talk about anything? Is there something you want to tell me?"

"No…I was just thinking about…things," she said.

"Oh, I see. Thank you for explaining that oh so clearly I know _exactly_ what you mean," he cheeked.

"_Oh Ronald,_" she sighed plopping down at the end of his bed.

"Why do you always sit at the bottom of the bed? Can't you come sit by me for once? It's not like I'm going to hurt you or anything like that! There thank you that's _much_ better," he said as she adjusted to lean against him as he wrapped his arm around her.

"I just don't think it's very smart of us to be all cuddled up in your bed. What if your mother was to come up here and see this, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be happy," Hermione explained.

"Hermione I'm going to tell you something. Every time that we come up to my room together, I lock the door. Now before you smack me upside the head, I'm not getting presumptuous or anything like that. I don't expect anything from you and I would never push you to do anything…like that just so you know. But, my time with you is just that; _my_ time with you. I don't want anyone else barging in here and getting in the way with that. I know that selfish and that we've spent a good part of the last seven or eight years being with each other constantly, but sometimes I miss you. A lot. Actually that's a lie, I miss you all of the bloody time. It's ridiculous! I miss you when you go to help mum set the table, or when I'm flying around with Harry and Ginny and you're on the ground, or when you go to take a shower. Sometimes when you leave after I fall asleep when you've read to me, I'll wake up because I know you're not there, and even though you're a floor below me I'll miss the hell out of you. I even miss you when you sit at the end of my bed because you're not close enough to me. So trust me, my mum is _not_ going to come in here and see anything," he finished.

"You know," started Hermione, "considering the first part of your little speech there, I should be quite angry with you. But it's pretty hard for me to do that when it was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me," she grinned at him.

"Well good, I was getting a bit nervous there for a second, thought you might get Ginny to set a Bat Bogey Hex on me or something," he joked. She laughed until she felt his lips on her cheek and grinned. Then they moved to her mouth and she grinned even more. They kissed until she was out of breath and he pulled away.

"Well that was…Ron! What are you doing?" she gasped as he slowly pulled his lips from her neck.

"I'm sorry is this too much? Do you not want me to?" Ron asked nervously.

"No…it's not that it's just…"she started.

"Hermione," he cut her off, "I told you, no one is going to come up here," he said as he begin to continue his ministrations. Who knew such a simple thing as being kissed on the neck could be so wonderful? She sank lower and lower into the bed before she was lying down with him holding himself up over her. She closed her eyes and let herself get caught up in the feeling of _this. _This wonderful feeling that she didn't have to think and worry about because it came so naturally to her. She let her mind go wonderfully, easily blank. For the first time she did not have a million thoughts rambling through her head. She let the feel of Ron's soft lips on her neck quiet every thought, every little worry that she had ever known and lost herself in the sheer joy of experiencing something so un-Hermioneish as relaxation. The only thought that she had was of Ron and how he had read her mind. How relieved she was that he felt the same way she did, and how she wished that she could find the word to describe this incredible feeling coursing through her.

And then, she suddenly realised it. As if someone had pulled the wool from her eyes and she could see clearly for the first time. There was a word for it. She gasped at the sudden realisation and all that it meant. Quickly Ron sat up and looked at her worriedly.

"Are you ok Mione? Did I do something wrong, did I hurt you?" he asked hurriedly.

"No Ron it's fine. It's so incredibly fine! It's just…"

"What Hermione?" he interrupted.

"I just miss you," she answered before she pulled him back down to her lips. As she felt him smile into the kiss, she knew that she did in fact miss him. She didn't feel whole when some part of him wasn't touching her. But she also knew deep down, that she needed him to kiss her, so that she didn't say the wrong thing. Well, maybe it was the right thing. It was too early to tell, and she was not going to mess what they had up by doing just that.

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**A/N: So I know, please don't hate me. I know this took longer than I said, but hey, at least it wasn't a year long wait again! I've had a lot of school work and studying to do lately and just couldn't find the time to write this seeing as I was already staying up late into the night. However, graduation is coming soon and things have died down, so besides final projects and studying for finals I should have more time to work on this story some more before I go on vacation at the end of the month. I know this chapter is pretty short. I never really write particularly long chapters to begin with but this one was pretty short. I pretty much sat down and typed this out in about 45 minutes. It was all spur of the moment and I had absolutely no plan for this chapter which is another reason why it's so delayed. But I'm actually pretty happy with it. I know it's sort of a filler chapter and nothing particularly interresting happens but I do like it. I was trying to experiment with dialouge and there's a lot of that in this chapter which has affected the length. I think this is the most dialoge I've ever done. Anyways, I'm going to start planningout the next chapter but I would really love to know what you all would like to see happen and am wide open to suggestions so please send me some, along with your thoughts on this chapter! I don't know how many of you out there are reading this but whenever I get a story/author alert or story favourite or a review it really brightens my day. This website is so confusing so I'm not sure how to reply to reviews but when I figure it out be sure to know that I will do my best to reply to each and every one of you! It's the least I can do since you take the time out of your day to click that button on the bottom! So with all of that being said I hope you like the chapter and happy reading! XOXO**


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